Peace and love and Battlestar Galactica

NOTE: this entry contains spoilers about the end of Battlestar Galactica.

Over the last week I have watched the last eight episodes of Battlestar Galactica, the TV series that ended March 20. The episodes have been sitting unwatched on my DVR all this time. Partly that has been because I have not been watching all that much TV, having trouble focusing to watch much, but I have stirred myself to watch them in order to clear room on the hard drive. Another reason has been that I missed recording the second of the last ten episodes ("A Disquiet Follows My Soul"). That kind of stalled me out since I hated missing part of the story.

One other thing has been lurking...I felt incomplete. Cheryl and I watched the first two seasons together. It was one of our shows. When the third season started I recorded the episodes but could not watch them for some time because Cheryl was not there to watch them with me. When I finally did watch them it was often difficult; I found myself missing her even more, and talking to her when interesting things happened. There were other shows that could give me some trouble like that--sometimes Criminal Minds, The Closer, Monk, or NCIS (the first two with interesting things that I know she would have liked, the latter two because of character developments that I know we would have discussed, as well as because of characters who had lost a wife)--but none as bad as BSG. BSG had all those interesting plot twists, character developments...and the urgency...the depth and breadth of human experience. To watch it has been like a roller coaster ride. When you ride a great roller coaster with your best friend, when you go back and ride it alone the experience is almost indescribably diminished.

As I have watched these last episodes this week, ending with the last two hours tonight, I have still felt some of that diminishment, but I have been able enjoy them, relish them. Still I have missed Cheryl, but I have not felt so incomplete, so unhealed. And the end...the end with the laughter and the tears...was appropriate in its bittersweetness. The loss and the pain, the fresh start, the surprises, the completion and the open endedness, the love and the happiness. I got Helo and Sharon, Baltar (a Baltar who discovered courage, sacrifice, and love) and Caprica Six, an end to the war, Galactica winning her last fight, and more. I might have preferred a few things different--another miracle for Laura so she and Bill could be together, Lee and Kara together, the ships not destroyed, maybe not have it be our earth and the survivors spread out, but rather someplace new and a continuation of civilization. It was okay, though, it all worked...it was fitting...it was bittersweet. And now it is over, and I can close that chapter, let it go, and move on.